The I've Friendly Fire jester85 club!
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15 posts in this topic

UPDATED AS OF 08/16/17

 

Do to the above average of deaths I seem to sustain due to friendly fire I have decided to keep track for the pure comic golden entertainment of it.   I believe I have a very high average compared to anyone else for these deaths.

 

I'll start posting ones that happen as of now, I don't remember all of them in the past so if you have killed me please post the hillarous circumstances and you can be honorific member of the......

 

JESTER85 DEATH SQUAD!   

 

As a rule the kill will be veriefied by me to count and MUST BE RULED ACCIDENTAL!     So please be a good sport and don't try it just to get in the club.  

 

Pointless titles, ranks  and awards will be given to members of the JESTER85 DEATH SQUAD that will serve no purpose but may make you feel special;)

 

Ranks will be updated as well as an award list. Every member will have their post updated as need be to reflect current rank and awards.

 

 

CURRENTLY ATTAINABLE RANKS

Will be expanded as people progress. 

 

PRIVATE (E-1) We all make mistakes and yours was enlisting into this outfit.

PRIVATE FIRST CLASS (E-2) Okay I know I said we all make mistakes but the plural part was not meant to be taken literally.

CORPORAL (E-3) Your a special kind of stupid aren't you?

SERGEANT (E-4) Your level of dumbassery and fuckery is catching up with you.  With your promotion now you must be responsible for other fuck ups in your squad.....congrats

GUNNERY SERGEANT (E-5)  Still can't figure it out huh?  Seems like the best part of you ran down your momma's leg a long time ago....

MASTER SERGEANT (E-6)  Wow....Your now a Master of Fuckery.  

"To hold the magazine while firing is like holding the scrotum when taking a piss; you have to expect a certain spread."

SERGEANT MAJOR (E-7)  .....7 times now, wow you just went full retard. I can still see the coat hanger marks on your skull.

 

WARRANT OFFICER (?) I don't know what to say...Your one step from being stupid enough to be a butter bar.  Just stop while your ahead, at least right now everyone is as confused as you are as to were you sit in chain of command or what you do.

 

2ND LIEUTENANT  (O-1)  Congratulations...You attained a new level of stupid that other stupid people recognize as leadership.

1ST LIEUTENANT  (O-2)  I thought when you got your commission you would get smarter.....Guess I was wrong.

CAPTAIN (O-3) This is going no where, I'm making you a part time desk jockey wait till you see the paperwork for weapon & ammo requisition

MAJOR (O-4)  WTF!? Okay for my own safety you are now a permanent desk jockey.  The only shooting your gonna do is some waste basket basketball in your office.

COLONEL (0-5)  ......What did you use!? A stapler?.... or was it a massive paper cut?  Seriously!?

 

SITH LORD (TOO FUCKING HIGH)   Only someone truely evil is capable of this many "accidents"  on there so called "friendlies". 

 

 

Current attainable awards listed bellow.  

(As people get creative with killing me I will be constantly expanding the list.)

 

CURRENT BADGES

 

HIT'EM WHEN THEIR DOWN BADGE Awarded for already being down when i received friendly fire as the killing blow. 

COMMUNICATIONS BADGE   Awarded for friendly fire death after being warned shortly ahead of time about: My movement, Your firing angle or position, my position, shooting across vehicles etc.....

BALLS DEEP BADGE Awarded for 100% friendly fire knock down and kill by you.

COMIC RELIEF BADGE Awarded for obvious reasons (whatever it was you can be sure it was funny) 

 

CURRENT RIBBONS

 

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RIBBON  Awarded for friendly fire death due to physically hitting.

IT'S WAS JESTER'S FAULT RIBBON Awarded for friendly fire death however I recognize this incident was more my fault than yours.

VEHICULAR MANSLAUGHTER Awarded for friendly fire death due to being run over by a teammate.

 

 

 

Roughknite and guacgaming like this

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First member of the day goes to @JAyJUHL  

CURRENT SQUAD RANK: PRIVATE FIRST CLASS

 

AWARDS:

COMMUNICATIONS BADGE

HIT'EM WHEN THEIR DOWN BADGE

                                

Just before crossing the bridge from military base I specificaly Called out on teamspeak to not shoot across the vehicle and watch cross fire on when we cross the bridge.  

 

15 seconds later while sitting front passenger seat I received full automatic fire from the seat behind me knocking me down and out of the vehicle.   The enemy hadn't even shot me yet lol.

 

For downing jester85 in glorious accidental combat I knight thee Sir Jay of the JESTER85 DEATH SQAUD. 

 

For doing it after being warned specificaly ahead of time you will receive the JESTER85 DEATH SQAUD...

COMMUNICATIONS BADGE.

 

UPDATE: 08/07/17 3 HOURS LATER

Promoted to Private first class

Awarded the HIT'EM WHEN THEIR DOWN BADGE 

Was already down when i received friendly fire as killing blow due to bullet spray from UZI.

guacgaming and Roughknite like this

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I Like you, but your crazy!!

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    Our next member    @TheLindeN

CURRENT SQUAD RANK: PRIVATE FIRST CLASS

 

AWARDS:

HIT'EM WHEN THERE DOWN BADGE

IT'S WAS JESTER'S FAULT RIBBON

 

Was knocked down when hit by a jeep of an enemy team that crashed straight into the building my squad was at.  Our team quickly eliminated the enemy and Linden began to police the bodies.  He comes up behind me so I figure he's gonna pick me up and we will be on our way.....

 

Instead he unloads his mag into my ass since I was on my knees in front of him. Apparently my name didn't show he said but honestly guys use mini map awareness lol.

 

 

For downing jester85 in glorious accidental combat I knight thee Sir TheLinden of the JESTER85 DEATH SQAUD. 

 

Awarded the HIT'EM WHEN THERE DOWN BADGE 

 

UPDATE: 08/13/17

Promoted to Private first class

 

Was pinned in a large shed with a guy waiting right outside the door that had just ran up on us.  Linden had been shooting out the door and I saw him stop and look like he was going to reload.  Hoping to give him time to reload and force the enemy to split his focus on 2 targets in different directions I went to leap out the door.

 

Unfortunately Linden's reload was just a feint..... He completely faked out not only the enemy but me as well and do to my move his full automatic fire ripped me first shortly followed by the enemy.  I died from friendly fire however I recognize this incident was more my fault than Linden's therefore....

 

Awarded the IT'S WAS JESTER'S FAULT RIBBON

 

 

TheLindeN likes this

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23 minutes ago, jester85 said:

    Our next member    @TheLindeN

CURRENT SQUAD RANK: PRIVATE

AWARDS: HIT'EM WHEN THERE DOWN BADGE

 

Was knocked down when hit by a jeep of an enemy team that crashed straight into the building my squad was at.  Our team quickly elimainnated the enemy and Linden began to police the bodies.  He comes up behind me so I figure he's gonna pick me up and we will be on our way.....

 

Instead he unloads his mag into my ass since I was on my knees in front of him. Apparently my name didn't show he said but honestly guys use mini map awareness lol.

 

 

For downing jester85 in glorious accidental combat I knight thee Sir TheLinden of the JESTER85 DEATH SQAUD. 

 

Awarded the HIT'EM WHEN THERE DOWN BADGE 

When that happened? I don't remember anything like this.

 

My only teamkills are made by vehicles and pro grenades

merkcury likes this

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7 hours ago, TheLindeN said:

When that happened? I don't remember anything like this.

 

My only teamkills are made by vehicles and pro grenades

Not true, you turned around and full auto'd me thinking I was the enemy ;)

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5 hours ago, fus` said:

Not true, you turned around and full auto'd me thinking I was the enemy ;)

true full auto but just 4 bullets also my story is true cuz i dont shot my teammates anymore, even when i see enemy i think about it "should i shot?" "is he friendly?"

merkcury likes this

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Our next member @Donut AKA Aang

CURRENT SQUAD RANK: PRIVATE

 

AWARDS:

HIT'EM WHEN THERE DOWN BADGE

 

Was knocked down at top of stairs in a barn style house while rushing a team.  Aang was right behind me and unloaded most of a mag into me and while trying to shoot the guy in front of me.  To be fair it was a FUBAR situation but never less....

 

For downing jester85 in glorious accidental combat I knight thee Sir Donut/Aang of the JESTER85 DEATH SQAUD. 

 

Awarded the HIT'EM WHEN THERE DOWN BADGE 

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Our next member @RandleBoop

 

CURRENT SQUAD RANK: PRIVATE

 

AWARDS:

BALLS DEEP BADGE

COMIC RELIEF BADGE

 

Was following squad mates on a motorcycle about 60 meters back with another motorcycle.  RandleBoop was riding passenger on mine when our teammate’s bike in front of us cleared a small hill and was fired upon by a squad at a low wall that they blew past.  They were so busy shooting at our squad mates that me and Randleboop decided we were gonna pull right up to light'em up from behind.  It should have been perfect as they were oblivious to us and the noise of our bike plus no cover from our side and pinned to a wall they couldn't jump.  They were standing all bunched within a couple feet of one another as well.  

 

I stopped the bike within maybe 12 meters of these guys and they heard nothing as they shot more rounds at our teammates.  I bailed off as soon as possible and lined up my silenced 40 round mag UMP set to full auto........Then promptly die from a whole full auto mag from RandleBoop.  He never got off the bike and shot from the back seat putting all his rounds into me when I got off.  Worst of all he kept shooting till the mag was dry so I went from full health to insta death pretty much no knockdown %100 friendly fire death.

 

The enemy squad then calmly turns around to see me dead on the ground and Randleboop sitting on the back of the bike 12 meters away in the open and feverishly trying to reload.....he and the Bike are then turned into Swiss cheese after an extremely funny awkward pause.

 

 

For downing jester85 in glorious accidental combat I knight thee Sir RandleBoop of the JESTER85 DEATH SQAUD. 

 

Awarded the BALLS DEEP BADGE for 100% friendly fire knock down and kill

Awarded the COMIC RELIEF badge for obvious reasons 

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Well so far I have yet to actually knock down a teammate with friendly fire so I dunno.   I guess I get a promotion to the squad when I do it.

TheLindeN likes this

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@TheLindeN

 

Has received a promotion to private first class and awarded a new ribbon for the incident in which it occurred.  Please refer to his post/reply page above to view the updated incident and awards.

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10 hours ago, jester85 said:

@TheLindeN

 

Has received a promotion to private first class and awarded a new ribbon for the incident in which it occurred.  Please refer to his post/reply page above to view the updated incident and awards.

Soon... soon it won't be possible to promote me.

First things first i need to get the highest rank

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Our next member @guacgaming AKA Guac

CURRENT SQUAD RANK: PRIVATE

 

AWARDS:

HIT'EM WHEN THERE DOWN BADGE

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RIBBON

 

Was knocked down during a fist fight in a small room at the school.  Guac came to my aid and finished off the guy I had been fist fighting with knocking him down in the same room.  It was still early and many in school didn't have weapons just like us so I told Guac good job and asked him to pick me up.  Unfortunately things went a little south from there...

 

Either due to his adrenaline pumping from the fist fight or just his insatiable blood lust nature Gauc proceeded to continue to try to beat the knocked down enemy to death with his fists.  It was a small room as I said and in his rage he killed his only friend :'( (It was DUO's) .  A inadvertently well placed blow to my head killed me outright from my knocked down state.

 

For downing jester85 in glorious accidental combat I knight thee Sir guacgaming/Guac of the JESTER85 DEATH SQAUD. 

 

Awarded the HIT'EM WHEN THERE DOWN BADGE   (A little to literally earning that one.....)

Awarded the DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RIBBON (Awarded for friendly fire death due to physically hitting) 

guacgaming likes this

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new ranks and awards added to page.

 

See first post for update.

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